


Mary and the Mustache: A Meta on the Length of John and Mary's Relationship

by azriona



Series: Sherlock Meta [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Engagement, F/M, Marriage, Meta, Sherlock Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 18:42:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1698650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azriona/pseuds/azriona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A closer look at why I think John and Mary had known each other for longer than six months when John asked Mary to marry him in TEH.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mary and the Mustache: A Meta on the Length of John and Mary's Relationship

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a conversation I had with violethuntress on Tumblr; she was kind enough to send me my half of the conversation so I could rework it here. Dialogue is from Ariane Devere's [fabulous transcripts](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/).
> 
> You can also find this meta [on Tumblr](http://azriona.tumblr.com/post/87005262858/mary-and-the-mustache-a-meta-on-the-length-of-john-and). Feel free to comment/share either location.

Recently I’ve been seeing more posts stating that John and Mary had been dating for six months when he asked her to marry him.  This is usually stated as a fact, with little to no room for discussion.  I understand where the number comes from – “six months of bristly kisses” – but I don’t believe that the line means that they were only dating for six months when he popped the question.  Yes, Mary was kissing a bristly John for six months – but I’m pretty sure she was kissing him beforehand, too.

 

**1\. Mary knows how depressed John was prior to the moustache.**

_JOHN: Mary likes it._

_SHERLOCK: Mmmmmm, no she doesn’t._ [[X](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/64080.html)] [  
](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/64080.html)

 

There’s been a meta on the symbolism behind John’s moustache – about how it serves as his way of trying to make a new life for himself apart from Sherlock, how his way putting Sherlock’s death behind him, etc.  One of the first things we learn about Mary is that she knows what Sherlock’s death has done to John – she tells Sherlock right off, “Do you have any idea what you’ve done to him?”  Mary knows exactly how dark John’s life was after Sherlock’s “suicide”.  Of course, John might have told her about his best friend who committed suicide – but I’m not sure he would have told her the full extent of how hard it hit him, or that she would have understood the implications of Sherlock then standing there if she hadn’t actually seen it herself.

 

And then of course, there’s the fact that John actually refers to it in a way that sounds as if Mary probably _did_ see some of it:

 

_JOHN: Yes, I will. As you know, these last couple of years haven’t been easy for me…._

John admits that Mary knows about the depression after Sherlock’s death – he even puts an amount of time on it: a couple of years, and expects that Mary will remember them.  When Mary smiles encouragingly back, it’s confirmation: “Yes, I do know; go on, I’m still here.” 

 

If we are to believe that the moustache has only been around for six months – and yet Mary is meant to remember what John’s life was like prior to that time, then it stands to reason that she was around for a larger portion than six months. 

We also know this – and whatever else you say about Mary – she can be pretty smart.  She doesn’t like the moustache, but she never says as much to John.  She’s very well aware what that moustache means to and for John.  Even if John doesn’t see it as his cry for independence, she knows better than to squash it by asking him to shave. 

 

_MARY: I’m sorry. Oh, I’m sorry – I didn’t know how to tell you._

 

If Mary had only known John after he had grown the moustache – that is, only in the last six months – would she have known the extent to which he had mourned Sherlock?  Would she have been hesitant to tell him to shave it off, without knowing his rationale (conscious or unconscious) for growing it?  And would she have been so supportive of John and Sherlock starting their friendship again, had she not known the full extent of what Sherlock’s death had meant to John? 

 

I think Mary’s cautious reaction to the moustache is evidence that she has known John for longer than six months – certainly their relationship predates the moustache.  And trust me on this one, because here I have experience: the only way you put up with uncomfortable bristly kisses is because you like/love the guy who’s giving them.

 

**2\. Mary had been living in John’s flat for at least six months prior to Sherlock’s return.**

Next, let’s take a look at one possible timeline of the events leading up to Sherlock’s return in TEH.  (Note I say “one possible” because frankly, I have my doubts that any of the timelines are at all accurate – the show has been notoriously bad about even keeping to its own timeline – for further reference, see the discrepancy regarding when exactly John and Mary were actually married.  May?  June?  August?  Who the hell knows.)

 

Sherlock returns to London at the end of October or beginning of November.  We know this because of the inclusion of Guy Fawkes Day, which is November 5.  We also know from Mary’s comment that John has had the moustache for at least six months – so that means that John start growing the moustache somewhere around the beginning of May, give or take a week. 

 

Further, we know that John did not have the moustache when Greg came to visit him and deliver the birthday tape from Sherlock (as seen in Many Happy Returns – and I’ll get to that validity of that minisode as a canon source in a moment).  We can assume, from Mary’s comments, that this exchange took place at least six months prior to Sherlock’s return.  At that time, we saw John in his flat – and that flat was decorated the same way as it was when we saw it in HLV – _after_ John’s and Mary’s marriage. 

 

Here is the flat in MHR:

 

And here is the flat in HLV:

 

Same furniture, same rug, same weird lamp in the corner, same alcohol in the cabinet.  There has been so much made of the attention to detail from the set crew on Sherlock, I refuse to believe that they weren’t paying attention to how John’s flat has been decorated – and what it would have meant to have Mary move in, who has presumably been keeping her own flat, with her furniture, prior to her relationship with John.  Particularly since we know that John _didn’t_ take any of the furniture with him from 221B (at least, not the furniture in the space he shared with Sherlock).  Which means – either John purchased all of this by himself, or it somehow came with Mary, whether it was hers to begin with or they purchased it together.

 

If Mary had not been living in the flat during the events of MHR – I think we would have seen a bigger change in the decoration of that flat between the two scenes.  Either the addition/subtraction of paintings/pictures/pillows, a different chair, a different couch, a different coffee table.  But we don’t see anything: the flat has not changed in what we are led to believe is at least a one year time difference.  (MHR takes place no later than May prior to Sherlock’s return; HLV takes place one month after John and Mary’s marriage the following May.) 

 

To me, that says there wasn’t a reason to change anything – that is, Mary was already living there at the time of Greg’s visit in MHR.  And if they were living together when Greg came to visit the moustacheless John… pretty sure they were kissing. 

 

This does assume that MHR is canon, and I admit, I believe it is.  The minisode was written by Moffat/Gatiss, it had original actors, it was filmed in the same set as other portions of the show. (We even see the bar where Greg and Anderson hang at a later point in time.) It’s not an aberration; in fact, it works very well as a prologue to S3. Certainly, MHR is a better canon source than John’s blog – though even the blog has Mary commenting on John’s posts as early as the April preceding Sherlock’s return – and from that April comment (“Let’s get a drink”), it sounds as if they were already acquainted with each other, even if they weren’t actually dating.  


**3\. Perceptions of “Short Amount of Time”**

_JOHN: Er, so ... Mary. Listen, erm ... I know it hasn’t been long ... I mean, I know we haven’t known each other for a long time ..._ [[x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/64080.html)]

 

The older you get, the faster time goes. We all remember what it was like to be five and the school year lasted forever – and those of us who are parents realize that it seems like just yesterday that our five-year-olds were babies in our arms.  I’m 37 years old, I’m just a few years younger than John Watson in the show probably is.  I lived in Egypt for a little over a year – to me, that was practically nothing; the time literally flew. To my son, age 4, it was a quarter of his life. When he came back to live in the States again, all he really remembered was Egypt.

   
Of course, that’s an extreme example. But John, who is probably nearing 40 if not past it, could date Mary for anywhere up to a year, and still say, “We haven’t known each other long,” because in comparison to other people in his life, he hasn’t. I can easily see him looking back at a year-long relationship and thinking, “Gosh, that wasn’t long at all.”

 

There is one other line within canon that most of the fandom seems to take as commentary on how John and Mary couldn’t have known each other for very long:

 

_JOHN: Did you think you’d found the right one when you married Mr Hudson?_

_MRS HUDSON (smiling): No! It was just a whirlwind thing for us. I knew it wouldn’t work, but I just got sort of swept along._ [[X](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/66078.html)]

 

Even as the episode aired – long before any of us realized Mary’s nefarious and questionable past – it was obvious that John and Mary’s relationship was meant to mirror Mr and Mrs Hudson’s failed marriage – both in terms of the relationship itself, and in what it would mean to Sherlock.  Mrs Hudson lost touch with her best friend after her marriage – just as Sherlock would become estranged from John.  Mr Hudson was up to no good on the side – just as Mary turns out to have somewhat questionable morals.  And Mrs Hudson refers to her romance as “whirlwind” – and since all the other parallels match, surely this must mean that John and Mary couldn’t have known each other all that long either.

 

But here’s the thing – Mrs Hudson is not a reliable source of information on John’s time after Sherlock’s death.  Remember, John doesn’t even _contact_ her until he shows up at the flat shortly before Sherlock reappears.  Anything John has done in that period of time is going to be new for Mrs Hudson, from his living accommodations to his facial hair, and definitely his choice of companions.  She wasn’t there when they met, she only knows what they told her, and they probably didn’t give her a blow-by-blow account.

 

And certainly Mrs Hudson was still under the impression that John and Sherlock were together as a couple, despite John’s denials.  If Mrs Hudson truly believes that John and Sherlock were together – then certainly John’s relationship with Mary would seem to be something out of the ordinary and quite unexpected – and no matter how long or short the romance, it would still qualify as “whirlwind” because it has completely turned John around from how Mrs Hudson originally perceived him.

 

But there’s another comment from Mrs Hudson directly related to the passage of time that we’re ignoring:

 

_JOHN (smiling): Yeah. We’re getting married ... well, I’m gonna ask, anyway._

_MRS HUDSON (looking more doubtful): So soon after Sherlock?_

_JOHN: Well, yes._

 

It’s been two years after Sherlock’s death – but to Mrs Hudson, that’s still “too soon” for John to be marrying anyone else.  Granted, Mrs Hudson still thinks that John and Sherlock were a couple – well, her and half the fandom – but it’s proof that whatever the time frame of John’s actual relationship with Mary, she’s going to consider it to be fast.  And it’s clear that John doesn’t think that relationship has progressed too quickly at all.

 

Here’s the thing: John knew Sherlock for 18 months, and in that time, not once did he tell Sherlock that he was his best friend (and more, if you want to read Johnlock into it).  He even refuses to say the words to his therapist after Sherlock has died.  Does this sound like a man who would ask a woman to marry him after only knowing her for _six months_?  

 

John had to have known Mary for longer than six months.  Whether or not they were dating the entire time, or were just friends, is almost immaterial. 

 

 

**A final word**

If you still don’t buy my argument: you know what, that’s okay.  To me, it doesn’t really matter if John and Mary had known each other for six months or six years – just because a relationship happens fast doesn’t give it less credence than one that has been built over a long period of time.  My parents were engaged within five months after they met, and were married another five months later.  That was forty years ago.  They’re still going strong, and the odds were stacked against them even if you don’t include the length of time they knew each other when they exchanged vows.  (Granted, neither of them was an ex-assassin and were lying about their past, but still.)

 

So no matter what your definition of “not very long” is, it doesn’t mean that John didn’t really truly love Mary, or that he didn’t really truly want to marry her.  I think he did; I think he still does, and I think that’s a lot of why we see him act so strangely at the end of HLV.  Mrs Hudson might have been indifferent to the fate of Mr Hudson by the end – but I don’t believe you can say the same about John Watson in regards to Mary. 

 

No matter how long John and Mary knew each other – and I do believe it was longer than six months, though probably not as long as a year – that they love each other as much as anyone who has met their other half should not be in doubt.

 

 


End file.
